Tropical Isles & Lots Of Smiles
Anticipation was high this morning as we were heading to shore. Our beautiful island destination was Lifou (leaf-ooh) in the exotic French Polynesian Loyalty Islands, a province of New Caledonia. As we whipped back the curtain together, Jude and I exclaimed in unison “Land Ahoy!”
Having been told we’d have to “tender to shore”, I assumed we’d either be bouncing along in rubber duckies or using the lifeboats to row to shore. Much to Jude’s amusement, I queried as to whether we’d be likely to get wet. It turns out the “tenders” are pretty substantial little ferries with an upper and lower deck. No oars required. Who knew?
All the passengers had designated meeting places and time slots for boarding the tenders and it was an impressively smooth operation to get a couple of thousand passengers ashore so seamlessly.
After much Googling and trawling of reviews on Trip Advisor, Jude and I had decided to book ourselves into a bus tour to the Cliffs Of Jokim. We’d have a local Drehu (pronounced jay-hoo) guide to give us all the fun facts we needed about this cute little slice of paradise.
Swaying palms laden with coconuts lined the pristine, white sandy beach. As we exited the tender, there was a spot of mass hysteria when a woman from our boat yelled: TURTLE!!!” and pointed wildly down off the side of the jetty. Everyone stampeded to catch a glimpse, only to be monumentally let down when it turned out to be just a rock.
The lovely Vanessa, with the pretty floral crown (that I admired and jumped in to sniff, only to find it was plastic) introduced herself as one of our guides. She had a gorgeous French accent and greeted us with a kiss on both cheeks.
Our other guide, Manuela, who had even less English than Vanessa, took us to the Botanical Gardens, giving us the lowdown on how vanilla is grown and harvested. We shared vanilla-infused tea and coffee with the plantation owner and played spot-the-fruit as we strolled through the tropical gardens. It was a fruit salad forest of mangoes, coconuts, lychees, papayas, bananas and pineapples…”Yummy, yummy”, as the Wiggles would say.
The bus deposited us at the site of the picturesque cliffs and we were inaugurated into island life with a (real) flower wreath for our heads and a Gilligan’s Island-style cut coconut with a carved wooden straw for each of us. There were some traditional round huts with thatched pointy rooves with a resident baby goat that Jude took a shine to and a family of chooks milling around. There was talk of a huge 200 step walk down and 200 step return trip and many gave it a miss due to dicky knees and various other ailments. We were thankful for the lovely Emily in our group who decided not to risk it and looked after our bags. The cliffs were stunning; the water so luminous and blue. Our group descending (and ascending) purely for a look as swimming in these azure waters was reserved for locals only (a bit like North Narrabeen).
We did get to swim and snorkel at another equally gorgeous palm-lined beach. Jude explored a bit further afield than I and reported sightings of all sorts of exotic tropical marine life. We were all lined up along the beach with our boat-issued matching towels; our cruise liner an imposing port-holed edifice shining brightly on the horizon. It felt like we’d dived right into a travel brochure.
Vanessa and Manuela found us at the crepe canteen, where I indulged in an authentic French crepe and practiced my French with some personalised tutorials. Meanwhile, Jude found a friendly four-legged friend who helped her to eat her lunch. We got to chatting to the girls and when they learnt that Jude had recently become single, their eyes lit up with excitement. “Zee nice man for you is right here on zis island”. The girls went into overdrive, in full match-making mode, naming all of Lifou’s most eligible bachelors. The Big Chief (actual name) is even rumoured to have a handsome son or two.
Stay tuned.
To finish off our first day ashore, the Drehu people gave us a traditional farewell song and dance extravaganza, complete with drums, whistles tapping sticks, bells and grass streamers. We all joined in, dancing around with them in a big circle, singing along.
Jude and I stayed till almost everyone had already got back onboard the ship and got the special privilege of joining this big group of beautiful local women as they taught us a dance. Imagine the Hokey Pokey and the Nutbush had a baby, well that’s what this dance was like. A school disco winner.
With a quick security scan and our belongings curiously being placed in what looked like dog bowls, to go through the scanner, we were back onboard and getting ready for dinner. Errol had left us our daily towel animal and the jury was well and truly out as to what it was. I was tipping an elephant but Jude was adamant it was a pig. Feel free to leave us your suggestions. Most nights we are placed on a big round table with random other cruise goers, giving us the chance to get to know a wide range of people onboard. It’s fun seeing them all over the ship and we always say g’day. We had a great group tonight, singing all our favourite songs together and getting on like a house on fire. .
Having so enjoyed the concerts from yesterday, we strapped in for 3 repeat performances from Daryl Braithwaite, the Black Sorrows and the Australian INXS show, respectively, dancing and singly along ‘til we were well and truly hoarse. The only twist was that tonight was Come as Your Favourite Rock Star Night - the majority of the passengers completely transforming themselves and doing their bit for the wig industry across the globe. I was Chrissy Amphlet and Jude chose more of a generic, flowy folk singer look.
The highlight for me was when the lead singer of the INXS show leapt off the stage, over a barrier and jumped with me Massai Warrior style for a few bars of one of his songs.
Too much fun for one day!
