Palaces, Pomp & A West End Romp

This morning Toby and I were determined to get some discounted West End show tickets and we’d been told that early in the morning, on the day of the performance was the best shot of a good price and a good seat. We made our way on the Tube to Leicester Square (we could almost do it with our eyes closed now!) and joined a small queue for a Half Price West End Ticket booth. The whole of Leicester Square is littered with these booths -there’s even one in the Underground – so I can’t imagine anyone would ever pay full price for a show. We managed to scoop up some middle- of the- balcony- tickets for a performance of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” at the Theatre Royal, in Drury Lane tonight (wonder if we’ll see the Muffin Man? ) We were pretty excited!

Once that was out of the way, it was time to tackle London on foot. A short Tube ride to the centre of town had us emerge from the bowels of the city right near the magnificent Trafalgar Square with the imposing 50m high Nelson’s Column, peering down at us, guarded at its base by four huge lions (statues, not the real thing!) and surrounded by fountains, just like the ones you always see pop up in people’s European photo albums. Of course we took some happy snaps too! In one corner of the Square, on top of a giant plinth, was a massive, bright blue chicken! It sure did bring some colour to a predominantly grey and white landscape! We weren’t too sure what it’s significance was until we asked a local and discovered this spot was reserved for temporary artworks by leading local artists. It was really cute and we thought it should stay to brighten things up.

We rounded the corner to see the impressive Admiralty Arch up close and personal and were amazed at its size and grandness! Our next destination was the iconic Buckingham Palace to check out where the Queen hangs out. Walking down the ceremonial Mall, lined on either side with tall trees was really memorable! We’d initially toyed with the idea of trying to time it so that we could see the changing of the guards but hadn’t given it much thought since, so it was with great excitement that as we were approaching St James Park, rounding the corner we were confronted with a whole group of “Household Cavalry” looking very important with their gold pointy hats and long red cloaks atop their well-trained steeds! (There are times I could sure use some Household Cavalry myself! I wonder if they hire themselves out?) They clip-clopped all the way down The Mall, on the road, and all the cars gave them a very wide berth. The closer we got to the Palace, the more crowded we realised it was until by the time we reached the gates there was a huge sea of people all bustling and jostling for position. We guessed this meant it was the changing of the guard! We’d jagged it! How exciting!! There were so many people there! The royal guards, dressed in their fancy uniforms and big bearskin hats were playing a rousing rendition of the theme from the Incredibles! Not what we were expecting! They sounded awesome though!

We shuffled through the eager throng and found ourselves a prime position on the footpath ready for the procession. It was such a buzz! The horns blasted out, the big bass drum kept the time and then the bobbies on horseback led the way. So much pomp! So much ceremony! So exciting! Cameras were madly flashing and you could hear the gasps from the crowd as the battalions marched by, the leader barking out his instructions as they all followed obediently along. They had their famous red suits covered with fancy grey coats to keep the chill out but the busby hats were so cool! We were on a bit of a high when we left!

We hailed a London cab and were thoroughly entertained by our classic cockney driver as we headed across town towards Ross’ work. We were sledging him over the cricket and he was sledging us as Australians in general! To put it in his words: he was “taking the Michael ou’ of us!” He suggested we head to the Borough Markets which were a “right Bohemian experience” and get a free feed from all the wares being peddled there.

The London SKM office is right across the road from The Shard, the tallest building in Europe and just so happened to be a mere hop, skip and jump from the Borough Markets! We met Ross and headed straight there. It was amazing! Such a great atmosphere with all sorts of exotic foods, local produce, handmade sweets and all things edible and English. From high-topped pork pies, artisan-crafted chocolates and HUGE wheels of cheese (wheely big!) to all sorts of brownies, macarons, curries, paellas in whopping big pans and cured sausages. It was an all-out assault on the senses! A place where you could easily imagine Eliza Doolittle peddling her bunches of blooms. We bought some delicious handmade chocolates and sampled sausages, aged parmesan, olive oil and baked bread. Probably the most confronting sight for me was the Christmas turkeys hanging in bunches from the awnings of the stalls – a pluck it yourself job – complete with all their feathers and even their beaks- ready to pop in your car and take home!! And I thought the Chinatown ducks were bad!

Ross returned to his hard work at the office and gave Toby and I some clear directions about how to get to Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre. “It’s easy”, he said. “whatever you do, just keep the river parallel to you. You can’t go wrong!” Famous last words. We did follow the river and all was going fine until we came to a bridge and had the choice of going over or under it. We had momentarily lost sight of the river but our best guess was that if we went up and over the bridge we’d still be going parallel to the Thames. We walked for at least 20 minutes and still there was no sign of the Globe. Strange. It was only supposed to be a couple of minutes’ walk. We pressed on and figured we’d eventually stumble upon it , when suddenly we looked up and discovered we were back in the exact same place we’d started from! We couldn’t believe it! We’d walked in a complete square – square one to be exact, ‘cause that was where we had just landed! We are still confounded as to how that could possibly have happened! All I can do is apologise for the genes I’ve passed on to poor Toby!

We eventually did get to see the Globe but we opted to go under instead of over this time! It was only a short walk to the wharf so we jumped on a ferry heading down to the London Eye. We sat outside and were battered by the wind and the cold, even though we enjoyed the experience and the view of London from the water. It wasn’t until we were ushered through some doors to disembark that we discovered a whole other, heated, leather-seated world existed inside! There was even a tv on in there! Oh well, we’ll know for next time. Going up on the London Eye was quite an amazing experience! It’s just so enormous and high and the view from the top is insane! There was a decent sized queue to get on but thankfully it went quite quickly. They frisked us before we got on and asked us if we had any “scissors, knives or booze” in our bags! When you see the London Eye from the ground, the carriages don’t look too big but they’re actually pretty roomy and you can fit up to 26 people inside each one. We had some very tall Russians with big bearskin hats in our carriage with us so at times it was a bit tricky to see past their headgear! We took lots of photos and loved the experience!

Finally it was time for our West End play and we braved the icy conditions outside, getting to the Theatre Royal with plenty of time up our sleeves. Piccadily Circus was vibrant and alive, with music pumping and lights in all the trees. It was such a great atmosphere. Being Friday night, there were plenty of people around too, with some night clubs having substantial queues out the front. Climbing the stairs up to the balcony, we were wondering when they were going to end. We must have climbed up the equivalent of about 4 storeys to get to our seats! Talk about nosebleed seats! We were up in the clouds! The theatre had those little boxes at the sides, like the ones Waldorf and Stafford from the Muppets sit in and do all their heckling from. They were very cool! The balcony, where our seats were was ridiculously steep and I was wondering whether anyone had ever fallen off and landed on the seats down below. It was a LONG way down! Once we’d adjusted to the altitude (popped a couple of altitude sickness tablets) we sat back and enjoyed, complete with our own Wonka Bars, the brilliant performance of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that was on offer. The sets were sensational, especially the one where Charlie and Willy Wonker were soaring above the stars in the glass elevator. It really was amazing and definitely worth seeing. We all loved it! We ate at a restaurant called Garfunkels, mainly because it was the only one open, and Rossco had himself a “dirty dog” for dinner!

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Farewell Manchester