The Sum Of All Fears
Guest Author - Ross Jones
After a few days of getting a little over-excited with bargain shops and how much a strong Aussie dollar can buy, I thought it was time that we take a breather from visiting any shops so that the magnetic strip on my debit card could cool down a bit. I don’t think it has hit the kids yet that for every item of clothing they buy here, they’ll be making room in their wardrobes with donations of their existing clothing to those in need.
Today was a day to enjoy the beaches and each others’ company. Adam was nice enough to do the coffee run this morning to our new favourite coffee chop, The Haleiwa Coffee Gallery. While he was doing that, I thought it opportune to don the new (very reasonably priced) running shoes and go off on a morning run. I opened the door to do some stretches and was immediately hit with the reality that this was my first run in Hawaii and that outside, to quote a line from Good Morning Vietnam, “It was HOT!!! Damn HOT!!!” I set off for what I hoped was going to be a 10km run followed by some upper body work and perhaps some swimming down at the beach. By the 1km mark I was already dreaming of the swim. I was sweating buckets. I was finding myself empathising with those who choose to compete in the Hawaiian Triathlon. I then realised that I had only hit 2km and really had no idea of what those athletes experienced. Anyway, I did the Forest Gump and kept running, until I hit the 3.5km mark and realised that a man has to know his limitations and so I turned back for home ….. yes I know, prematurely but there’s a difference between doing the City to Surf in the freezing cold with a couple of cooling showers and running in Hawaiian heat after dining at the Cheesecake Factory the day before.
After having breakfast, most of the crew headed to the local beach where the wind had not yet picked up. I stayed with Sam and Toby to give them an in-depth education on the significance of Pearl Harbour prior to our visit there tomorrow. This involved watching the battle scene from the movie, Pearl Harbour, while fast forwarding over anything resembling a love scene or even a kiss to appease Toby’s squeamishness over such visually disturbing images. After the boys had completed their written history exam on Pearl Harbour they were allowed to go to the beach. We spent most of the morning in glistening tropical waters staying cool and on the look-out for fish and turtles to chase underwater. Still nothing resembling surf but we did bump into a local who said, “Oh man, you should have been here last week. The surf was massive!!!” I was tempted to ask him how big the last fish was that he caught. Molly has become the snorkelling queen and spends hours in the water, face down enjoying a new world to discover under water. Toby is also amazed at the sea-life around him. Sam on the other hand, while very brave in many circumstances, has a very large aversion (some would say phobia) to fish. We coaxed him to put a snorkel and mask on today and he was freaked out by the amount of sea life swimming around him. He had the hee-bee-jee-bees about putting the mask back on and was happy to hang out with Maisy who was having a ball in the shallows. Speaking of balls, guess what Maisy used to stand on before diving away from Sam into the crisp clear Hawaiian waters. Yep, you guessed right. On 7 occasions today, Maisy used Sam’s kahunas as a springboard. It was a buzz watching a few horses be ridden down to the beach and into the water for a swim. Something I took for granted, but something the kids hadn’t seen before.
While the local beach was great, it was time to head back to Wiamea Bay; firstly to see if there was any surf and secondly, to give Sam a chance to experience “Jump Rock”. We grabbed some lunch at the house and then jumped in the cars to head off to Wiamea. As we came up over the rise and round the right hand bend we were shocked by the size of the waves. It was actually flatter than a couple of days earlier. There was not even a ripple. Still, it was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, we were together as a family and we weren’t at school or work. Sam couldn’t believe the visibility and how deep the water became so close to shore. With greater visibility comes more comprehensive sightings of sea life which played heavily on Sam’s phobia. However, he faced his fear and snorkelled around a reef outcrop teaming with fish. Mind you, it was a fleeting lap around the reef. I think Sarah though a shark was thrashing around beside her. I had not seen snorkelling carried out at such a pace. Sam motored around the reef at full pace freestyle with flippers. After seeing his form, the solution to Australia’s current Olympic swimming concerns for Rio is simply to pick Sam and drop some fish into the Olympic pool just before the start. Phelps won’t stand a chance.
On the flip side, Sam had no qualms about the Jump Rock, taking the plunge quite a few times. Each time, Sam (and then Adam, and then Molly and then me) gave a couple of big, boofy Russian guys encouragement to jump. These guys spent so much time up there assessing the risks that they didn’t notice how sunburnt they were getting. Eventually, the Russian in the bright orange shorts edged out onto the rock. Seeing he was about to chicken out again, Molly quickly started the countdown, to which the whole end of the beach joined in. The guy must have been a cosmonaut because when we hit zero, he launched. Molly was quite chuffed that she had helped this big Russian bear to conquer his fears. However, there was still the Russian in the grey shorts. Once brothers in arms (or fear), Orange Shorts was now yelling stuff in Russian which, if my translating ability served me correctly, said something along the lines of “C’mon you purse carrying nancy-boy. You’ve been up there all day. Suck it up princess and make the jump.” Orange Shorts was now very vocal now he had his mojo back. As he climbed back up the rock to offer some more constructive advice to Grey Shorts he even added a swagger to the walk at the top of the rock. Grey Shorts was feeling the pressure and edged out to the jump zone. Molly saw that he needed help so she started the slow clap which was picked up by many on the beach. She sensed that he needed more support so she started the countdown again and, he too must have been a cosmonaut because at “zero” he jumped. When he surfaced, he received a rousing cheer from all on the beach.
After a relaxing afternoon, we headed back and went into Haleiwa for an early dinner. We went to a pretty cool place on Haleiwa Beach called Jamieson’s. Unfortunately, Sarah did not face here fears as strongly as Sam. As many of you will know, Sarah has a somewhat strong aversion to the reptile family. When we walked in and sat down, she noticed what must have been a reptile of leviathan proportions if the reaction was anything to go by. However, upon closer examination, a gecko lucky to be 5cm long had scaled a wall within 2m of Sarah. The hairs on the back of her neck were raised as a sign of her moving into the “fight or flight” disposition, although there was only one side of that equation Sarah was thinking of. Let’s just say if she acted on her desires, we wouldn’t be calling her Rocky.
Surprisingly, the meal was just the right size with minimal side orders. You can see the photos from the restaurant. Sarah had the now common experience of ordering a coffee with milk and sitting back to wait for what is bound to be another cultural moment. Americans have no idea what to do with milk and coffee. To quote Dave Everingham, they only do “cream or sugar”. Ask for milk and you usually get a repeat of “Sorry, was that cream or sugar??” The translation is that milk with coffee doesn’t compute. So after getting through the communication barrier, the very nice but confused waiter brings out a black coffee with what was larger than a schooner glass of milk and looks at Sarah blankly until we explain that she wants the milk (and only a little bit) in the coffee. After suggesting that one of the kids could drink most of the milk and Sarah could pour the rest in, the light bulb went on and he came back with a small jug with some milk in it.
Time to sign-off and hit the sack. Pearl Harbour will be an early morning tomorrow but one I’m really looking forward to.
